1 in 5 individuals are born with a trait that causes them really feel feelings strongly — and cry simply.
Crying is a pure response to disappointment, happiness, or overwhelm. However a few of us can’t deny we cry extra simply than these round us. That’s me — as a child, I bear in mind holding again tears in school, summer time camp, sleepovers, and wherever else with numerous stimuli. Despite the fact that different children would typically cry too, I couldn’t ignore the truth that they didn’t cry almost as a lot as me.
As an grownup, I’m the identical. I cry usually once I’m feeling (even a bit bit) pressured or overwhelmed, once I’m in bodily ache, once I hearken to a stupendous music, or when my associates are unhappy. Or, as simply occurred yesterday, I could discover myself ugly crying in a Starbucks whereas watching a video about an deserted canine who was rescued.
Individuals don’t all the time prefer it. I’ve gotten every little thing from good-natured ribbing from associates to outright disapproval, particularly if I ever dare to cry within the office. (Observe: This doesn’t assist individuals cease crying!) Nevertheless it seems, my tears are fairly regular. Psychologists imagine that roughly 1 in 5 individuals — together with each women and men — are what’s often called extremely delicate individuals (HSPs). We really feel and course of our environment extra deeply than non-HSPs, together with bodily stimuli and emotional cues.
In different phrases: We’re experiencing a really totally different world than all people else. Feelings actually do hit us tougher, and lots of occasions, that comes within the type of tears.
Being an HSP is taken into account each regular and wholesome — so why do a few of us cry a lot? Let’s check out what’s occurring behind the tears. Whereas not all HSPs cry simply, I feel there are 5 large causes many people do.
5 Causes HSPs Cry Extra Simply
1. Our brains are wired for greater emotional responses.
HSP brains expertise feelings extra vividly than non-HSP brains.
Being extremely delicate is linked to a gene that “turns up” how strongly we expertise feelings. This gene additionally impacts an space on the entrance of the mind, often called the ventromedial prefrontal cortex (vmPFC), which impacts emotional regulation.
This implies we are able to really feel our personal feelings extra powerfully. Happiness, disappointment, frustration, and extra come on robust for HSPs — and crying is a pure solution to course of and launch these feelings. (Importantly, these robust feelings are nonetheless thought of regular. When you’re an HSP, it doesn’t imply you’ve gotten any type of dysfunction — and in lots of circumstances, your sensitivity is a bonus.)
In different phrases, crying simply is actually a part of our HSP mind’s anatomy. So the subsequent time you’re the one one crying at a tragic film, moved to tears by a stupendous piece of artwork, or stepping away to deal with robust feelings throughout a worrying undertaking, know that you’re functioning precisely as you had been designed to.
2. We’re naturally extra empathetic — and the feelings we decide up on might be heavy.
Not solely do extremely delicate individuals really feel their very own feelings strongly, however they “take in” feelings from these round them. This makes us extremely empathetic — being able to know and share another person’s emotions.
A 2014 examine printed within the journal Mind and Habits discovered extremely delicate individuals had extra mind exercise in sure areas as they checked out footage of their family members. The researchers used useful magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to scan individuals’ brains.
They discovered that HSPs — when pictures of their companions and strangers making completely satisfied or unhappy expressions — had extra activation of mind areas related to empathy and consciousness. In addition they had higher mind activation in areas concerned with consideration and taking motion.
For this reason we might cry extra simply after listening to somebody’s unhappy story or empathizing with a cherished one’s ache. I imagine this a part of being an HSP is a real superpower. Whereas it means we are able to cry extra simply when others are hurting, it additionally makes us extremely supportive companions, mother and father, and associates.
3. We’re extra simply overloaded in an extremely stimulating atmosphere — which may result in tears.
HSPs are extra delicate to exterior stimuli and extremely aware of slight adjustments in the environment. Feeling every little thing a lot extra on high of the stressors of on a regular basis life can get exhausting shortly. To others, it would seem to be we’re overreacting or getting upset for no purpose. In actuality, it’s a pure response to processing data so completely.
Personally, this will hit me exhausting throughout high-stimuli conditions like events. The loud music, dancing, ingesting, and a mess of different our bodies round me may cause a really emotional response — even when I’m grateful to be there. My excessive sensitivity usually triggers social nervousness, which may make me cry if I really feel like too many eyes are on me. I’ve been identified to step exterior for some recent air or go house early.
4. HSPs might turn into pressured, anxious, or depressed extra simply.
Crying simply could be a symptom of despair, nervousness, or numerous stress in your life. Since HSPs really feel so deeply and may expertise sensory overload, we’re extra prone to robust emotions of despair or nervousness.
We would really feel alone in our sensitivity or isolate ourselves to scale back extra stimuli. Plus, small shifts in life might be tougher for HSPs since we’re extra simply startled and have a troublesome time with change.
As an HSP, I can really feel down, pressured, or anxious from small moments that add up all through the week, like:
- Serving to a buddy via one thing exhausting and absorbing their disappointment
- Getting suggestions at work that my mind continues to ruminate on
- Being round too many individuals and needing alone time
- Feeling too remoted and craving deeper connections
- Consuming an excessive amount of caffeine, which may trigger nervousness in some HSPs
- Considering an excessive amount of in regards to the future or previous
Earlier than studying I used to be a extremely delicate particular person, I puzzled why it took so little for me to really feel overwhelmed by work, relationships, or simply… life. I’ve been identified to begin crying mid-week for seemingly no purpose and marvel what’s flawed with me.
However now, I do know I’m simply extra simply overwhelmed — and that’s okay. I do know to dig deeper and pinpoint the place the stress or nervousness is coming from. Then, I can deal with what’s inflicting it.
5. We regularly want extra self-care than others — and crying could be a signal.
A lot of our society shouldn’t be constructed for extremely delicate individuals. The quick, high-stimuli tempo of life might be exhausting for many people. Till we perceive our wants, we might really feel like we have to “toughen up” or keep away from our feelings to be much less delicate. Mockingly, this solely results in extra overwhelm as we attempt to match a mildew that’s unnatural to us. I discover myself crying extra usually when my every day life doesn’t match my HSP mind.
For this reason self-care — and reaching out for assist once we want it — is so essential for HSPs. If we discover ourselves crying usually, it could be an indication we have to deal with sure considerations in our lives or shift our routine to raised match our wants.
I used to see my tear-prone disposition as an indication of weak spot. However now I do know it’s simply a part of who I’m as a extremely delicate particular person. I recognize my delicate connection to very human feelings, and I’m not afraid to precise them. When you additionally cry simply, I hope you possibly can acknowledge that magnificence in your self, too.